SNOW

OK so its what APRIL?
OMG the snow NEVER goes away i swear. its like at work yesterday everyone was all like oh well its suppose to rain and then snow. But you know in North Dakota you just never know. SO as me and Ernesto are in the library studying. All of the sudden he gets up and is like "we have to ride" (aka-we need to leave...for those of u who dont understand him) so im like why it cant be that bad. NO it really was. So we go home some lames came over and "partied" yeah right our roomate has some of the the "lamest" parties with the "lamest" people soi went to bed early.

*morning*
I wake up and there is snow ALL over the place. (ANd its so funny because the other day our roomate's girlfriend was like "nesto why are u wearing your snow boots it's flip flop weather...its only 40 degrees." SHes crazy these people are crazy one day its -15 and the next day its 40 and they are out there wearing shorts.) Anyways so i have a little cold also. So we get out to the car and NO joke are car barley had any snow on it compared to the cars around us but...mine was the only one stuck so...nestos like ok now what...well HELLO you are big get out and push it. SO its starts moving as we are switching seats so i have to LEAP into the car so it dosent hit our neighbors car. Then we get stuck AGAIN. (without ernesto i dont kno what i would have done.) So we get it out again we get stuck. AGAIN so we check the main road make sure nobody is coming and we both just pushed it until we got to the road. It was very funny. This lil car stuck and a BIG black guy pushing it...me leaping. OH that was my exercise/excitment of the weekend.

Friends

So yeah it has been awhile since i last posted but yeah get over it.

I have been getting on the computer almost everyday..and everytime i get on...i look at my friends myspace evry single one of them...Katrina, Katie, Preston, Tiana, and Nisha. My "top" friends. And you know i think to myself...gosh i miss them. I guess what people say is true you dont really appreciate something until they are gone. And they aren't dead or anything but they are not close either. And another thing is you find out who your true friends are in time of need.

These 5 friends were there for me when i was trying to get on my own 2 feet. Some gave me a place to stay...some money...some just a listening ear to listen to the consequences of the stupid desicion i made the day before. Some gave me advice and some told me i was stupid and i was making the wrong desicons. But i think my biggest point out of this WHOLE thing. Is not one of them judge me for the desicions i made. They merely helped me pick up the pieces...some told me what they thought but still told me they loved me when they were done. And i want to thank every single one of them for helping me and i hope this summer and maybe days to come ahead...i can in some way or another pay them back. I love u guys!

The Pros and Cons of College

SO i get into this Beginning Algebra class...that i am SUPER physced about right?
Well yeah its a good class and i like it BUT i had to quit my job. So im like bored im so use to waking up taking ernesto to class and goin to work get off work pick him up, take him to work, go home rest and then cook, get back INTO the car and pick him up. And THEN i have to spend time with him LOL...j/k.
But anyways the way Godfather's Pizza is set up is we have a lunch buffet from 11-1:30. Well my class is at 1. I usually would get to work around 10 and stay until 2 or 3...sometimes 5. So yeah now i am frantically looking around for a job in this crazy place that has ABSOLUTELY nothing. And im starting to freak out because Nesto put in his 2 week notice yesterday because he a bout to start Spring Football. So im responsible for our half of rent now. AW o well i will get thru this!

Scared

Sometimes you just sit back and you realize how stupid or how naive you can be when you are in love. It is those times you realize that what you did to some people might look stupid but for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction? I'm so scared that i gave up my whole life for this boy an i sit back everyday and i worry so much about whether what I'm doing is making him happy or am i being a good girlfriend?
I sit back and i worry and i cry, and i don't sit back to realize how much he really does do for me. We might have just gone thru the toughest time any relationship can go thru, that fight that decides do i really want to be with this boy for the rest of my life, is this worth it. It was that conversation that makes you realize that you can go through anything with this person.
I know that i cannot live without him. I love him SO much and he does SO much for me. The times when we are away from each other, it kills both of us inside. But i know deep inside hes the only one for me. And i finally have come to trust him. I really trust him. I have always been resentful towards men. I feel as though they are untrustworthy. But i can trust him and i love him deeply and unconditionally. So he got me flowers...the first time EVER. And he said SORRY!

BURNT OUT

Ok so i get my pay check an i go grocery shopping and then i decide...got some extra change, why not go tanning since i am in this god awful place with no sun light. So i go to Northcoast Tanning. Cute little place all decorated. SO i get an account and she asks "How long would you like to tan?" So I'm thinking to myself "i tan easily" so "give me 15 min" i say.
So i go into the little room you get put the lotion on get into the bed. Go home jump in the shower and fix dinner. No big deal right? WRONG The fact that it is freezing cold in North Dakota means you have scorching hot water whenever you want it. I get out of the car running to the door up the stairs into apartment 13 and jump into the shower. BUT here's the catch when water hurts that's how burnt you are there is something wrong escpically when its HOT water.
So the next day i wake up a little burnt. But its better so after work i think to myself once again "OK i only burn once its never REALLY bad...ill just go tan again. I cover up my burnt spots and jump into the bed for 20 min. Let's just say for the next week or so i wont be going tanning. My face is swollen and i can't even wear my bra it hurts so bad.

"Never go tanning if you are all ready burnt"

Looking at Blogs

So what mae me start blogging...you might ask.
The mother what can i say she has a tremendous affect on me no matter where she goes or where i am there will always be a strong connection between the two of us no matter what anyone says.
So i have been reading her blogs and you know i only check it every once in awhile so i ont always catch everything. But today as i was scrolling own the multiple blogs she writes i saw the picture...the picture of home sweet home that only you will unerstand...no one else will. The one that makes you want to just bust into tears and to go jump on a plane just to be in that picture...because you know if you were in that picture you would be back at home.
My dog in a sweatshirt....yep that was the picture....yeah it may sound stupid bt of course my dad always loves to torture the dogs by putting some article of clothing on them. (secretly the dogs love it though.) Anyways back to what i was saying so i go to the section labled "kids" an then i see those 6 words just pop out on the screen like this to me. "IVE BEEN MISSING MY DAUGHTER LATELY." I mean of course she misses me who wouldnt...LOL J/k but forreal i know that a mother misses their daughter but when you see her write it on the internet...idk it hit me hard. I love my parents i will continue to say they did NOT fail me as parents no matter what anyone says...i love them with all of my heart i just made the desicion.
So its still FREEZING outside but i think im going to pick up my check and go grocery shopping. Oh i should probably eat before i go....
"never shop when your hungry...you'll buy to much."